


How To Survive A Friend Having A Kid

by Deadly_Sirius



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Babysitting, Fluff, Gay Pride, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame, Pride, Stucky - Freeform, Tony Stark Lives, bi!bucky barnes, bi!trans!Peter Parker, i'm not angry about it and u shouldnt be either tbh, this started as a "bucky watches Morgan bc Steve can't" fic and it turned into a pride fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-13 16:58:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19255366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deadly_Sirius/pseuds/Deadly_Sirius
Summary: Bucky Barnes, for everything that he'd been through, was annoyed by one single fact more than anything else in the world. One repeated assumption that the media made that ruined his image and incorrectly credited Steve Rogers for everything Bucky did. One piece of information that even Sam Wilson had difficulty believing until it hit him across the face.Steve Rogers was horrible--appallingly terrible--with kids.





	How To Survive A Friend Having A Kid

**Author's Note:**

> Another fluffy one-shot? Crazy. Enjoy!
> 
> This is edited, but even so, I'm not totally happy with it. I don't think I ever will be, and it's done so I might as well post it. Hope y'all like it :))

Bucky Barnes, for everything that he'd been through, was annoyed by one single fact more than anything else in the world. One repeated assumption that the media made that ruined his image and incorrectly credited Steve Rogers for everything Bucky did. One piece of information that even Sam Wilson had difficulty believing until it hit him across the face.

Steve Rogers was horrible--appallingly terrible--with kids.

Bucky, meanwhile, was pretty decent with them. It wasn't like he was a parent, and he didn't have magical powers with helping put them to bed, but he knew how to swaddle a baby, how to get a kid to take a bath, what to make them for dinner. Steve seemed to think that giving a kid a sugar high just because they said they wanted candy was perfectly acceptable, and then blamed Bucky when they got cranky during their crash.

Steve thought you could use body wash for shampoo when you ran out, and Bucky knew that would dry out and damage the kid's soft hair. He knew which stories Morgan actually wanted to read before bed, while Steve could go through her entire bookshelf and she still wouldn't close her eyes five hours later. Coincidentally, Steve thought bedtimes were total bullshit and didn't think sleep was actually that important. Plus, if you put a kid to bed later, they'll wake up later too, right?

Bucky did get enjoyment out of making Steve deal with an exhausted and whiny Morgan who got only five hours of sleep because "She's a  _child_ , Steve, and her internal body clock will wake her up at six a.m. no matter what you do. Are you guys watching  _Aliens_?! She's sleeping in  _your_ bed when she has nightmares."

It was atrocious how bad Steve was with children, especially for being Captain America. Bucky had to give him a lesson on how to hold a baby since people kept thrusting them at Steve and asking him to kiss them on the forehead or take a photo with them. Bucky had no idea why anybody would trust their child with Steve, but a known murderous assassin didn't get asked to hold too many babies. He decided training Steve was better than cringing as the baby's neck went unsupported. It was a miracle Morgan didn't die on their watch when Tony and Pepper had to travel for work.

Usually one of the two could get away, but when both needed to go to an international conference, they often took Happy with them, leaving Morgan without a close family adult for a few days. One would typically fly back alone if she was going to be left for more than a week, and while Tony claimed it was so that she didn't have to worry about her parents, Bucky had a feeling it was because Tony couldn't be separated from her for that long. She was more than happy with Steve and Bucky, asking a few questions about Mommy and Daddy but pretty comfortable knowing that they'd come back. Tony would go straight to her and hug her and swoon over her the second he walked in the door; once Morgan even scolded him for interrupting her work. She was gluing feathers to Bucky's arm.

But Bucky wasn't completely alone when watching Morgan. Peter loved her more than anything and often came over just to be another set of eyes. He wasn't old enough to watch her for a few days alone, but if Bucky had to run to the store or wanted to take a nap, he felt better knowing the sixteen-year-old was there than Steve. A lot of the time, he visited just to help Bucky out. Bath time was easier with one person holding her squirming torso trying to reach for a toy while the other washed her hair. Plus, his company was nice.

Peter and Bucky weren't that close before Morgan. Friends of friends of friends, really. Tony and Bucky weren't even close but after the accident that was leaving Cap in charge of their daughter overnight and the miracle that was Bucky finding out and saving Morgan from playing with a smoothie blender, Tony and Pepper decided to trust Barnes a little more. In the compound, Bucky was never alone with Morgan, but often times that made him feel less than comfortable.

Natasha couldn't be trusted with a child. It was through no fault of her own, she was typically kind with the young girl, but the number of times Morgan had somehow gotten a hold of a knife when Nat watched her was enough to put Bucky off asking his friend to play with Morgan. Wanda tried to be good with kids, but she was like Steve. She could entertain Morgan for half an hour with magic and sparkly hands but when it came time to actually  _caring_ for Morgan, Wanda had no clue what she was doing.

Bruce didn't exactly trust himself with a screaming five-year-old, not that Bucky blamed him, and even when Thor did show up, he didn't understand that children on earth weren't allowed to drink mead.

Most of the Avengers who were decent at kids were good with them because they had their own. And if they had their own, they were usually busy caring for them and not living in the compound. Morgan adored Scott and played games with him when he visited. Clint occasionally stopped by and that was when, during the longer stays, Bucky took the chance to shower, get some sleep or eat some food that wasn't previously frozen or covered in cheese or bread. Rhodey was also great with her, and Tony wished that he could be their first contact when needing to travel, but he wasn't comfortable caring for an active child alone while still working through his injury. Living in the compound, however, made him and Bucky a good team for Morgan.

Sam was also pretty good with Morgan but refused to help Tony and Bucky simply out of sheer spite and enjoyment of Bucky's discomfort. Every now and then when she managed to charm him, though, he would make sure she brushed her teeth and sat next to her in bed reading a storybook. The big smile on Morgan's face as she fell asleep was worth it for Sam, and although he loved giving Bucky a hard time, going to bed early and at peace was something Bucky deserved every now and then.

Steve, though, was a menace. The first time Tony had ever heard Bucky speak more than four sentences at a time to him was the phone call he received from Bucky four hours after leaving New York. He and Barnes had a strained friendship. After everything they'd been through, they respected each other's strength and abilities but also knew that neither of them really thought they could be friends with the other. They could exchange pleasant hellos and do small talk, but they sat on opposite sides of the room for team meetings and were part of different conversations when the group went out for lunch.

Bucky knew he shouldn't push his luck with the kindness Tony had shown him by allowing Bucky to stay and giving him a place to live and money to spend, but he didn't care about igniting old arguments or how rude it was to call Tony while he was working just to yell at him.

"Hello?"

"Tony?"

"Barnes, I'm working and I'm on a flight halfway to India. This better be important because-"

"Oh, well, if your  _daughter's safety_ isn't important to you, then I can leave you be."

"Morgan? What happened to Morgan?" Tony's worry and scrambling alerted Pepper and both were anxiously waiting on the other line.

"What happened to her? Oh, just, you know,  _the fact that somebody let Steve Rogers_ watch her. I mean, honestly, people, were you trying to kill her?! Why on earth would you let him take care of her?! I found her playing with an open blender. The first rule of knowing Steven Grant Rogers is never ever trusting him with the thing you care about most,  _especially_ if that's a living organism. I once took in a dog and when I came home on my lunch break the very next day, I found Steve feeding him chocolate. Chocolate! To a  _dog_. And you trusted this man with your  _child_?! Despicable.

"Since I'm so nice and caring and also concerned for the safety of Morgan, I'll watch her for you. Steve said you're only gone until Wednesday, so I should be able to not let him kill her in the next twenty-four hours. You're welcome."

Tony's mouth had been open in shock and before he could come up with a snarky retaliation, Pepper had taken the phone from him and was already thanking Bucky and giving him logistics. It was probably a good idea, Tony had reasoned, seeing as they had nobody else really to care for Morgan and Bucky seemed significantly more responsible than Steve, whose qualifications had been "Oh, yeah, I'm great with kids!" after their hired nanny had canceled for a family emergency.

The begrudging but honest "Thank you" Tony had given Bucky when he and Pepper had returned to New York pretty much solidified their friendship and he'd asked Bucky to lend his services again the next time the married couple had to leave town. In gratitude, Tony started playing around with Bucky's arm and adding to Shuri's technology and even invited him out to drinks one night with Rhodey. 

Typically being much quieter than the other two, Bucky seemed to be an odd addition to the duo, but Rhodey found that once you got him comfortable, Bucky was actually chatty. Steve would've said that was the real Bucky Barnes, his best friend from the '40s, but Tony was temporarily not speaking to Steve as Steve had lied to his face when saying he could watch Morgan. 

So the three had talked about women, and some men, and their favorite whiskeys and sports. Rhodey told Bucky to leave when he said he was three years older than the NFL, but he was joking and Bucky could tell, so he stayed. His occasional visits to Tony's lab when he knew the mechanic wasn't terribly busy and he was painfully bored eventually led Bucky to bump into Peter. There was definitely a warming-up period, but seeing Morgan with safety goggles on sitting in Peter's lap while he was making web fluid as Tony tweaked his own repulsors made Bucky comfortable with the teenager who seemed genuinely excited to know him.

He asked Bucky about being a teenager and young adult in the '30s, what the war was like, how it felt to actually be encouraged to shoot Nazis. Bucky had promised Peter that the next time Neo-Nazis were protesting Pride, he'd let him punch one. Tony had objected to punching any civilians. Bucky said Nazis didn't count.

They didn't end up actually punching any Nazis at Pride, but they did convince Tony and Steve, who typically avoided going to large public events as civilians, to join them. Pepper had to work--she swore Tony didn't do this much when he was CEO of Stark Industries, but then she remembered he was a terrible CEO and boss--but had told Tony to get off his ass and take their daughter so she could see a good representation of queer people being proud and supported.

Bucky hadn't wanted to go overboard, so he threw on a simple sweatshirt, some sunglasses, canvas sneakers and a pair of jeans to take Morgan to see the parade. Peter, upon seeing Morgan on his back so she could see the floats as Tony was too short to see himself, called Bucky "A literal father" and poked fun at Happy for not even smiling at Pride. Obviously, Tony's security team was with them, as was Nat and Wanda, along with Clint and his family. One would think that many superheroes and assassins could deal with a security threat, but Happy insisted on covering at least Tony and Morgan if the others didn't want his help.

Peter had decided to go with friends and meet up with Mr. Stark and the group later, so by the time he found them, Peter was shirtless with a rainbow painted on his stomach and glitter all over his face and hair. MJ had painted the bi flag on the back pockets of his shorts, and the scars on his chest were also painted to look like the trans flag. Bucky couldn't help but smile at the similar colorful getups MJ and Ned had on when they bumped into the group.

"Bucky!" Peter shouted over the crowd while trying to get something out of the small bag on MJ's back. "I bought something for you!"

"You didn't have to-"

"I know, I know," he said, waving Bucky off. "But you came to Pride in a gray sweatshirt!" Peter finally worked whatever it was out, and Bucky saw a flash of purple fabric. Finally holding it up, Peter opened a large flag of pink, purple and blue. "If-If it's too much or you don't want it, that's fine," Peter said hurriedly when Bucky just stared at him.

"Hey Morgan, do you want to wear a cape for me?"

The little girl squealed in excitement as she took the flag from Peter, grabbing opposite ends with each hand and then placed her arms back around Bucky's neck. From the neck down, she and Bucky's back were covered in the flag, only her little feet poking out in the front. Her giggling alerted Tony and he took a picture of her beaming and Bucky blushing as the two were wrapped in the colors. Peter stood next to them, some of his colors running from sweat due to the heat of New York in June, and although he was turning a little pink in the sun, his smile was just as big as Morgan's.

When Morgan finally got tired of riding on Bucky's back and wanted to get down, Peter and his friends took her and Mr. Stark to get their faces painted while Nat, Steve, and Bucky headed towards the 21+ areas to grab a beer in the heat.

"You look adorable, babe," Steve said, as Bucky kept the flag on.

Lack of planning left Bucky shirtless as he tied his sweatshirt around his waist, overheating from the cotton. He was a little uncomfortable as painful scarring on the left side of his body was visible. Just the metal typically got a lot of looks, never mind the disfiguration being on full display, but nobody seemed to mind much. Steve, better prepared in a simple white Pride t-shirt with a rainbow on the back laughed at him but also wasn't too unhappy about the situation. Nat had bought a bracelet of different pinks from a vendor, and Bucky mentioned that fact that they were significantly more queer after having a drink and the three left.

Tony had been discovered and Morgan was starting to get tired so the Starks said goodbye to their friends and left with Happy. Clint and Laura decided to take their family home as well, Nat leaving with them so the kids could have a visit from their honorary aunt. This left Bucky and Steve--so, Bucky--to keep an eye on three queer teenagers running around pride.

"Where are their parents?" Bucky grumbled as he was dragged to yet another booth. He hadn't seen a single adult responsible for Ned or MJ all day. So Aunt May had to work, that was understandable, but seriously, people.

"Well, Buck, Peter's are..." Steve condescended, trailing off sarcastically.

"Shut up," Bucky said, cutting off Steve's retort. He didn't need Peter overhearing them and for the rest of Pride to be ruined.

Steve swatted at his ass playfully and Bucky rolled his eyes, opting to keep moving after the teenagers than to retaliate. "Anybody need food?"

It turned out they did, in fact, need something from a food truck, so Bucky went off in search for something vegan for MJ with her while Peter and Ned were in charge of Steve. They chatted between themselves about Peter and Pride and random things. Bucky found her some falafel and when they made it back to the others, who were sharing a pizza as Peter sucked down a smoothie. Bucky grabbed a slice, knowing if he didn't eat now he'd probably collapse before they made it back to the base thanks to the serum, but left most of it to Peter and Ned. Steve also seemed to need something more substantial and they managed to get some fried chicken to split before Peter wanted ice cream and MJ was complaining that they didn't have sorbet.

It was nearly four by then, and they'd been in the sun for seven hours already. Bucky decided he could appease both of them if they left Pride and headed to an ice cream shop instead. Plus, Ned needed to catch a bus back home because his mom needed help with their new dog. Bucky bought everybody--including Steve because he was an overheated puppy--some ice cream and they all said their goodbyes to Ned and MJ.

The stations were hot and muggy but the subway cars were air-conditioned, so Bucky put his sweatshirt back on and folded up his pride flag. Peter pulled his own t-shirt on as well, definitely smudging face paint and makeup on the inside, and Bucky helped him brush some glitter out of his hair. All three of them were superheroes and could fight their own battles, but it wasn't worth an asshole picking a fight and ending up hurting themselves, so Steve put some water on a napkin and smudged some of the face paint off of Peter's cheeks as well as his own. Steve was still wearing a pride shirt, Bucky still had the folded flag and Peter still had paint on his back pockets, but they weren't as bright as they stepped onto the subway car.

Bucky watched other kids pull off stickers and change clothes as they headed home. He also watched some adults walk on in their full get up, being loud and happy and helping the kids while promising them in a few years that they'll be able to go home with their flags still waving. Peter, exhausted, took a nap on his shoulder and Bucky watched Steve tense anytime he thought somebody was going to say something about Bucky's hand on his thigh and his arm around Bucky.

But nobody did say anything, so Bucky nudged Peter awake and they made it to the street corner Happy said he'd meet them on and got into the car. Peter fell asleep with his head against the window in the front seat and Steve nuzzled up close to Bucky after a day of getting to celebrate themselves and their love.

 

Back at the base, Peter was a little more awake and promised to help Bucky with Morgan next week when Pepper and Tony went to Hong Kong for a meeting. Bucky figured the help would be nice.

It turned out, Peter's help ended up being Peter and Morgan ganging up on Bucky and insisting he needed a hair cut. If they screwed it up, he could always go short again, he reasoned.

Surprisingly, the teenager knew his way around giving a hair cut, and he explained that he'd needed to cut his own hair a few times when things were financially tight and ended up always doing it himself. Bucky's hair was still long by the end of it, long enough to at least pull it into a small bun when he was cooking dinner or painting with Morgan. But it was lighter, less dense, and barely made it about halfway down his neck. It was a large change from the thick mane that brushed his shoulders before.

Morgan had put the clips in his hair to hold it back while Peter trimmed it, and, obviously, the little girl did the majority of the work, so she insisted that they call her dad and show him her masterpiece. Tony had said a few quips about being able to actually see Bucky's face now, told Morgan she did a good job while winking at Peter, and asked why Bucky trusted either of the kids with a razor near his neck.

"The undercut was a nice touch," Bucky said with a shrug, rubbing his hand over the short, buzzed area on the back of his neck. It cooled him down for the summer and made it easier to pull everything up without missing small strands at the bottom.

Bucky was thankful they'd hung up before Morgan screamed when something shattered, and he grabbed her and Peter and pulled them in tight before even looking up.

Steve stood with a smashed coffee mug at his feet and his mouth open. "S-sorry. You cut your hair."

Relaxing his grip on the kids, Bucky nodded. "Yeah. I mean, technically Peter and Morgan did it. It's nothing drastic, just a couple inches," Bucky shrugged, running his hand through it.  _A couple of inches and a hundred pounds_ , he thought.

"You, uh, thinking of going short again?"

"You used to have short hair?" Peter asked, incredulously.

Bucky waved him off. "It was a while ago. Before the whole... Winter Soldier thing happened. I haven't had it short since the war."

"Was it like Lieutenant Dan's hair? Because I thought you guys already kinda matched with the long hair."

"I have no idea who that is," Bucky admitted.

Steve looked at Bucky and tilted his head, thinking. "Kind of, Peter. It was close. We'll have to find pictures sometime," he said with a sad smile on his face. It was for him and Bucky, for the soldiers of the 107th, for Peggy Carter.

"I think some hairstylists deserve those brownies Wanda made earlier. What do you think, Steve?"

**Author's Note:**

> Comments/kudos if you liked it!!


End file.
